Jettisoning the rats before they can stow away on your business's ship
Published: Mon, 08/03/20
Back in May a guy subscribed to “Email Players” with this ditty in the special instructions:
“Would you please ensure that my first copy is the current one as advertised on the page that I ordered this on. (Bloody Murder). Thank you.”
My response?
After deleting his order and blacklisting him, I replied:
“This note makes zero sense. I am canceling your subscription because you aren't making an informed purchase.”
Overkill?
If anything, I was gracious about it.
If someone is so lazy they can’t read the description of what they are about to subscribe to or buy, they’ve already flagged themselves as a pain in the arse customer. They won’t have the ability to use anything I teach anyway. And in this guy’s case, he couldn’t even be bothered to read past the sales letter headline.
True story:
Back in the day, lots of businesses went down due to plague rats stowing away on ships.
And the way I see it, if you can identify & turn the rats away before they get onto your ship, you can have as plague-free of sailing as possible, get to your destination with minimal problems, and keep the rest of your crew (i.e., customers) safer.
Can’t have these types infesting your ship.
That is, if you want smooth sailing.
This email probably offended someone somewhere.
All of which is perfectly okay — as anyone who would be offended is better off going elsewhere, as they are very likely the very type of person being described who isn't welcome here anyway.
And this is especially true with our Learnistic mobile app platform.
We don’t want a bunch of idiots clogging up the free test drives — much less subscribing — who can’t be bothered to do their due diligence and make informed, educated purchases.
The Help Desk doesn’t need the grief.
And we’ve instructed them to tell us of anyone who even gives a hint of being a problem customer.
If after all this you want a free test drive of the app, go here:
https://www.EmailPlayers.com/learnistic
Ben Settle