Never let an insanity-inducing quarantine go to waste
Published: Mon, 04/06/20
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Hi Ben,
Your Enoch Wars Saga cured me of Coronavirus insanity. Thank You!!!
COVID-19 has plagued me. Not literally, but mentally.
Last week was the third of our shelter in place order in California, and I was out of my mind.
I went from analytical reading on the situation into pandemic porn. People can be so stupid! Especially me, for stoking my anguish in the social media dens of inequity masquerading as wholesome platforms of connection.
Forced myself to step away from news and social media entirely last week, except for once-a-day checking the WHO and state/local websites for essential updates.
Tortured by the consumption compulsion but too crazy to do anything useful, I picked up the Enoch Wars book I got for the EP bonus you had a while back.
Binged on all 8 books in the last 4 days. Insanity cured!
First, just reading fiction for myself. Can't remember the last time I spent several days in concentrated reading, although while I was growing up it was a normal weekend if I didn't emerge from my room except for banal bodily needs because I was so immersed in the worlds of Isaac Asimov, Tolkein, Jane Austen and hundreds of other authors.
Second, your writing! OMG, so funny, fast-paced and fluid. You are Hemingway in your pace and language, Faulkner in your psychology, Stephen King in your imagination. Truly a joy to read, especially compared to the dried-up, too-somber or too-positive pandemic propaganda.
Third, the inspiration! I've had a religion-themed novel in the works for a decade. The premise is similar to that of the Prime show Good Omens. Has been 5 years since I wrote a single word, but Enoch Wars inspired me to start again.
Fourth, the time freed up! I had been disciplined for months at only logging in at scheduled times to do social media work related to my biz (working on de-platforming altogether, but still relying particularly on LinkedIn), but since virus swept the country I was like a zombie starving for brains in my mindless media gorging. Managing to finish many books in a short period of time was some Savior's blood to innoculate me against my self-inflicted time scourges. Despite the craziness at home, I've got a solid plan to be productive and grow my business this week!!
Email Players is amazing, but the $10 investment for Enoch Wars is quite possibly the most valuable I've made with you so far.
Thank You!!!
Rachel
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Confession:
This quarantine is probably the best thing to ever happen to my fiction. I’ve gotten more emails from readers about the Enoch Wars: Omega edition in the past 7 days, than the past 2 months since launching it when I bribed the hades out of people to buy it. And the fact it's helped at least one decide to write fiction, all the better.
Thus, I’ve decided to open up the offer I made back in February:
1. If you buy the Enoch Wars: Omega edition (Kindle or print) on Amazon
2. And if you send me your receipt by this Friday 4/10 at midnight EDT
3. I will give you…
“The Email Players Rules: Volume 1”
This 200+ page eBook contains the transcripts of the first 140 Email Players Rules from my old podcasts. And, while you could waste several days of your life you will never get back hunting down and finding those episodes on my website (it took me a couple days to find each individual episode on my own site since I don’t use any identifying keywords in all the descriptions — and that was with Producer Jonathan’s help and even he couldn’t find them all…) and then listening and/or transcribing them on your own, I have already done all that work for you in this eBook.
Here’s just a small pin-prick of blood taste of what’s inside:
* How one of the most brilliant marketing minds on the planet structures his sales funnels.
* How to use the Bible to predict hot new investment opportunities.
* How to write opt-in pages to get high quality leads eager to solve the problem your product helps with… instead of do-nothing mush cookie moochers who just want free stuff.
* How to “stack the deck” to make your affiliate bonuses stand out like a fart in study hall from other affiliates you’re selling against.
* How my place getting burgled by meth addicts made me a much better and more profitable businessman.
* Why Bruno Mars is responsible for a lot of guys getting dumped.
* How to keep your girlfriend or wife on her best behavior. (BONUS: This also applies to pets, politicians, friends, clients, customers, service providers, and anyone else you associate with.)
* What the Bible says about how to to gain the respect of your market, colleagues, teachers, clients, customers, etc.
* The exact best time to “fire” problem customers or clients.
* What to do if your wife or girlfriend gives you an ultimatum.
* An almost “fool proof” way to get what you want from people — whether it’s their money, their support, even their heart.
* How to keep your spam complaints to almost zero.
* How to know if an email you write is worth sending.
* How a copywriting friend would get thousands of visitors to his blog whenever he wanted.
* The most interesting man on Facebook.
* The single worst way ever invented for starting an email.
* How one of history’s greatest marketers tests his ads.
* The easiest way ever invented to get a fast (and potentially huge) short term bump in sales.
* Advice to old school direct mail copywriters struggling online.
* The “mistress management” secret for having an air-tight financially secure business.
* Dan Kennedy’s secret mindset “tweak” for commanding more respect (and bigger fees) from clients.
* How to prevent serial refunders, thieves, copycats and any low class jackass customers from stealing your time, energy and money.
* Why being selfish makes people around you happy.
* A secret way of writing emails (used by Hemingway and other popular novelists) that makes writing faster, more entertaining, and, yes, more profitable.
* Why so many “experts” are broke without a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out.
* How to give yourself an air of confidence that’ll scare away the idiots and attract the best people into your life.
* The dangers of networking in Facebook groups.
* How to position yourself in your market (especially if you sell a service) so people gladly pay you more, give you more respect, and take your advice often without argument or resistance.
* Why your customers are the last people you should ask about how to sell them.
* Why women are the last people a guy should ask about how to attract them.
* The best kind of candy to give a girl as a gift. (And no, it ain’t chocolate.)
* Best way for freelance copywriters to give themselves financial security.
* How to give yourself peace of mind during election years.
* How to repulse people into buying from you.
* Reasons why I don’t mail for affiliate launches anymore.
* How to “spin” bad things that happen to you into sales and success.
* The king/queen theory of a deceased comedian that can help any client better position themselves so only the best copywriter want to work with them.
* The real reason why single chicks love to own cats.
* A fast and simple way to eliminate the anxiety of finding a new market to sell to.
* A real life example of how to turn a one-shot sale product into a continuity product.
* The coffee tax secret for finding out what people *really* want to buy instead of what they simply say they want to buy.
* Why the vast majority of people who claim the Bible is their favorite book are lying through their teeth.
* A scientific way to manufacture your own luck.
* How The Secret is keeping so many otherwise intelligent men and women lonely, single, or “settling” with the wrong person.
* How to use “short cuts” to write ads that make lots of sales even if your copy sucks.
* How to wisely (and ethically) use “hype” to side-step lagging attention spans.
* Arguably the single best movie ever made for would-be entrepreneurs and business school students to watch before spending a single penny getting started.
* What copywriters working on commission need to be aware of.
* When never to get involved in a joint venture — even if the person your JV’ing with is honest as the day is long and has no intention of screwing you over.
* Why I don’t segment my list but insist on everyone else segmenting theirs.
* The dangers of trying to “reverse engineer” marketing and copywriting systems instead of just paying for them.
* The big mastermind group lesson I learned while eating lunch with Brian Kurtz (former Executive VP of Boardroom, Inc).
* And a ho’ bunch more — the above are just for starters.
Here’s the deal…
I will send you this eBook when you do the following:
1. Buy my newest Enoch Wars Omega edition novel (Kindle or hard copy)
2. Send me your receipt before Friday, 4/10 at midnight EDT — let me be crystal clear: you must send your receipt by the deadline, not just buy the book, by the deadline.
Here’s the vile link for your clicking displeasure:
http://www.EnochWars.com/omega
Ben Settle
P.S. If for some reason Amazon does not let you buy it in your area, says it is not available, etc, you will have to take it up with their customer service.