The devil didn't make me do it... Disney did
Published: Thu, 02/13/20
Back when Child elBenbo was in 6th grade, I was at my grandparents’ house, laying in their bedroom by myself watching the Disney Channel, mindlessly watching a show that came on called "The Wonderful World Of Disney."
And, the episode I was watching was called:
“Disney’s Greatest Villains”
It was hosted by the same actor who plays the creepy guy in the Magic Mirror from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and other Disney specials. And the Mirror spent the entire show talking about why the VILLAINS are the reason why Disney stories are so popular, along with clips of various Disney films to prove his point.
To paraphrase what he said:
Take a story with no villain, danger, or evil plans, and put them together and what do you got?
Boredom.
It’s the villain that get the heroes to have to react.
And, it’s the villain that is #1 in any story, no villain no need for a hero.
Anyway, the point of all this?
If there’s one big gripe certain people have had with my Enoch Wars novels, it’s that the good guys aren’t nearly as, er, fleshed... out and interesting or memorable as the villains. And, that I clearly put way more time into building up the villains. And also, that I seem to almost be rooting for the villains to win.
And you know what?
They are 100% right.
I do put considerable more time and thought into the Villains.
I can’t help it, Hoss.
The devil didn’t make me do it, but Disney sure as hades did.
So blame him…
Anyway, if you like villain-centered stories, twisted monsters, and deranged characters that make you wince at the things they do — and wonder how anyone as sweet and innocent and caring as Yours Tenderly could write about the stuff they do — then you *might* like these novels.
Or not.
But, either way, I am willing to bribe you into buying them by giving you something far more inherently valuable than the meager cost of the books.
Here’s the deal, Daddy-o:
If you buy the new “Enoch Wars: Omega Edition” (all 7 novels, plus a bonus 8th novel called “God Blood” and some other appendices, all under one cover) in either Kindle or paperback, and send me the receipt before tomorrow’s midnight EDT deadline, I will give you a valuable eBook called:
“The Email Players Rules: Volume 1”
This 200+ page eBook contains the transcripts of the first 140 Email Players Rules from my old podcasts. And, while you could waste several days of your life you will never get back hunting down and finding those episodes on my website (it took me a couple days to find each individual episode on my own site since I don’t use any identifying keywords in all the descriptions — and that was with Producer Jonathan’s help and even he couldn’t find them all…) and then listening and/or transcribing them on your own, I have already done all that work for you in this eBook.
I will send you this eBook when you do the following:
1. Buy my newest Enoch Wars Omega edition novel (Kindle or hard copy)
2. Send me your receipt before tomorrow, Friday, 2/14 at midnight EST — let me be crystal clear: you must send your receipt by the deadline, not just buy the book, by the deadline.
Here’s the link, Lash LaRue:
http://www.EnochWars.com/omega
Ben Settle
P.S. I can only assume the vast majority of my Horde taking me up on this offer are buying the Omega edition of novels just to get the bribe, with zero intention whatsoever of reading the fiction. And that is perfectly fine and dandy as far as I am concerned.
But, a few of my Email Players of the Horde have plunged brain-deep into the abyss of the novels.
Like, for example:
“Email Players” subscriber Daniel Throssell, who admits:
“I hardly needed a push to do this. You were responsible for RUINING my productivity over the first couple of weeks of the year when I had a whole bunch of sales page projects due, because I discovered your novels and kept having sneaky "Enoch Wars" breaks in between writing copy. I binged those suckers good. So I'm super excited to get my hands on an eighth…”
And “Email Players” subscriber Jenny Lane, who said:
“I started reading Enoch Wars yesterday. Gripped from page 1. Got no work done (your fault for being a brilliant writer). Have had to bar myself from reading it until after 10pm when I'm in bed. I see sleepless nights or scary dreams ahead.”
And “Email Players” subscriber Jeri Jensen, who's prepping for the nightmares hopefully to come:
"Taking Bob Bly's recommendation to read your Enoch Wars series at the pace of just a couple pages daily is turning into a fun and easy way to improve my writing. The huge bonus is the best checkup for boundaries and standards--biz and personal--that's crossed my path in a long time... definitely worth more than I paid for it."
I am the first to admit these books are NOT great "literature."
They simply are Yours Crotchety's attempt to exercise a different side of the writing brain, put "twists" on all my favorite monster stories & lore, comment on the human (and monster) condition, build my own literary "universe" via world-building & character-creation, and have a whole lot of fun at the same time.
Here's the link:
http://www.EnochWars.com/omega