I haven't showered in 8 days and I still smell fresh
Published: Fri, 10/23/15
kind of hair washing product.
But, she said I needed to gather a bunch of references and, this was the kicker, I was to send her some issues of my "Email Players" newsletter (you know, the one others pay for) so she could get some "ideas."
At first, I thought it was a joke.
Like I was on "Candid Camera" (“Candid Email”?) or something.
But no.
It was real.
So I replied with something about should I raise and support your bastard child as well?
Then, she replied saying how my joke about raising and caring for
her bastard child while I'm at it wasn't funny, and what about my
so-called love for everyone?
She also insisted I reply fast, because she's in a hurry.
Oh, and I'd only get paid on commission.
No upfront fees.
Why?
Because, and I quote:
"This is only fair because if you're advertisement does not work it
is really on you. This is totally fair."
Anyway, here’s the point of all this drivel:
Forget for a second I don't even do client work.
Forget for a second I never claimed to "love everyone."
Forget all that.
Let's talk about her silly little offer. I should only work on commission because it's on me if her
unproven, untested, and uninteresting product fails.
It's also on me if her list is crap.
If her offer sucks.
And if her product ends up with zero demand.
Sigh.
It's like when I once went 8 days without showering.
I thought I still smelled fresh.
But everyone else?
Not so much.
And that's how it is with offers like this.
It's blatantly low class jackass and silly to everyone who hears
it. But the would-be clients who dream them up think they smell
fresh -- and they're doing people a favor.
Anyway, enough comedy.
On to bid'niz:
The upcoming November “Email Players” issue includes a video of a talk I gave last year about spinning stories into sales. Most people who teach storytelling tend to needlessly complicate the subject or have no idea how to apply it to marketing.
Not so with me.
(If I may be so bold…)
I’ve been using stories to sell for the last 15 years.
And, I’ve broken it down into the most simple, “newbie proof” way possible.
To get this video and November issue, subscribe here:
http://www.EmailPlayers.com
Ben Settle