Why I don’t want that stupid book you think I should read
Published: Tue, 12/22/20
Here’s the story:
Way back in 2013 when I moved to the Burgle (i.e., Roseburg, OR — which if it ain't the armpit of the universe, it’s certainly within farting distance of it) that Fall, I was on the phone one day in the kitchen and noticed a small snake slinking in under the door. I didn't think much of it, it was the Burgle after all, shrugged my shoulders, kicked it out, and went on about m business.
Next day… same thing.
Except this time it was a salamander.
Again, I shoe it out.
But, this time, I see the neighbor's cat Shamus nearby intently watching with a grin as if saying:
“See what I did for you?! I gave you a couple gifts! Feed me!!”
I’ll never know for sure.
But, I suspect dropping that snake and salamander on my stoop - which looked way too steep for critters their size to scale - was Shamus’s way of getting himself a reward of some kind.
Food, attention, who knows.
The point:
Lately people have been sending or asking to send me books by mail.
I don’t know what idiot is teaching people to do this.
But, sometimes I will get a book in the mail from someone I don’t know, have never heard of, and who never bothered to find out what I want to read in the first place... much less gave me a heads up so I could tell them not to do so and save their money and my time.
And they always - without exception - are books I have zero interest in reading.
Plus, I carefully curate what I read and have already got enough reading to last me the next several years… which they’d have known if they took 10 seconds to ask me first. And even the wiser ones who do ask first get told not to do it, as I’ve instructed Stefania to return to sender any package that is not expected. This is especially true during the Christmas rush where the lines are around the post office building. And if one of these idiotic books does somehow slip in past the goalie, it’s immediately thrown out anyway, right in the post office. Yes, I've tossed - without bothering to read even a single word of them - entire multi-page hand written letters that accompanied an unsolicited book sent by some fluffpreneur, including letters with "grabbers" attached trying to impress me with their supposed direct mail & networking savviness.
More:
Sending strangers stuff they don’t want ain’t persuasion any more than Shamus dropping little varmints off on my stoop was persuasion. It won’t kick-start the so-called “law of reciprocity” with me, either. And, frankly, it’s a waste of your time & money.
I ain't saying this because I think gifts are inherently bad.
But, like Shamus the cat's gift, if it’s not something I want, it becomes more of an imposition than a gift, where it’s not about the receiver, it’s about the sender’s feels & ego.
i.e., it's a selfish gesture not a noble one.
This all goes for trying to sell anything else, too.
I don’t know who said it.
(Dale Carnegie?)
But, just because YOU like strawberry shortcake, doesn’t mean it's good catfish bait.
All right enough.
There’s a handful of people who have sent me some stupid book recently, or who have asked if they could send me some stupid book, who were probably just hurt in the feels reading this, and will no doubt have an irresistible urge to reply to this.
Don’t.
Just let it go, Spanky.
It ain’t personal.
I simply have zero desire to read that stupid book you want to send me.
And speaking of books:
Back in 2019, I shot a video of what books were on my bookshelf at the time. It was by far one of the most-watched videos in my mobile app afterwards, and still is. And while a lot of the books in that video have been boxed up for donation to the local library, and replaced with a slew of new books, the ones I talk about are well worth reading for copywriting, marketing, and other business purposes.
The video is called “Bookshelf of Boom.”
And you can access it directly in my mobile app here:
https://learnistic.me/tCiD
Ben Settle