I haven't showered in 8 days and I still smell fresh
Published: Tue, 10/17/17
— Crowley
King of Hell/King of the Crossroads
“Supernatural”
Continuing the Crowley Month festivities:
Once upon a time, some chick wanted to hire me to sell some kind of hair washing product. But, she said I needed to gather a bunch of references and, this was the kicker, I was to send her some issues of my "Email Players" newsletter (you know, the one others pay for) so she could get some "ideas."
At first, I thought it was a joke.
Like I was on "Candid Camera" (“Candid Email”?) or something.
But no.
It was real.
So I replied with something about should I raise and support your bastard child as well? Then, she replied saying how my joke about raising and caring for her bastard child while I'm at it wasn't funny, and what about my so-called love for everyone?
She also insisted I reply fast, because she's in a hurry.
Oh, and I'd only get paid on commission.
No upfront fees.
Why?
Because, and I quote:
"This is only fair because if you're advertisement does not work it is really on you. This is totally fair."
Anyway, here’s the point of all this drivel:
Forget for a second I don't even do client work.
Forget for a second I never claimed to "love everyone."
Forget all that.
Let's talk about her silly little offer. I should only work on commission because it's on me if her unproven, untested, and uninteresting product fails. It's also on me if her list is crap. If her offer sucks. And if her product ends up with zero demand.
Sigh.
It's like when I once went 8 days without showering.
I thought I still smelled fresh.
But everyone else?
Not so much...
And that's how it is with offers like this.
It's blatantly dumb, low class jackass, and silly to everyone who hears it. But the would-be clients who dream them up think they smell fresh -- and they're doing people a favor.
Anyway, enough pseudo comedy.
On to bid'niz:
The November "Email Players" issue goes to print in a couple weeks.
This issue is not for people who are incapable or unwilling to think deeply.
In fact, due to the nature of the main topic I'm teaching, it's wholly inadequate for those types.
Subscription info here:
http://www.EmailPlayers.com
Ben Settle