"Flowery hands" email tactics that'll get your azz handed to you
Published: Fri, 09/09/16
“Flowery hands”
I forget the Chinese word for it.
But, it is basically describing (i.e. mocking) all the inefficient and flashy fighting styles that involve lots of floppy or flappy arms and long strikes, exaggerated circling arm movements and fancy kicks that knock yourself so far off balance even a 3-year old child could knock you on your gluteus assimus simply by pushing you. Basically, we're talking about the nonsense you see in most Hollywood movies that might look “cool” but have zero functional purpose whatsoever and would get you your azz handed to you in a Denny’s parking lot fight against even an amateur.
Thus the mocking term “flowery.”
And you know what?
We got a bit of flowery hands in the email world, too.
Such as:
* Fluffpreneur-friendly nurture sequences (how Florence Nightingale of them...)
* Strategically "incubating" prospects for several emails before (gasp! oh nos!) making an offer. (I just saw evernote's "onboarding" process some goo-roo fanboys were having marketing nerdgasms over -- they send 17 emails before making an offer, I almost thought it had to be a joke...)
* So-called "jab-jab-jab-right hook" emails people keep telling me about when interviewing me on their podcasts lately. (No offer, no offer, no offer, finally make an offer... meh -- like John Carlton once said, "quit being fancy and just sell the damn thing"...)
* “Good will” emails where they make no offer to show how “nice” and non-salesy they are (when, in reality, they are just being incredibly selfish).
* Letting prospects tell you how often to email them (one of the more amusing examples of flowery hands email tactics I've seen)
* And the list goes on…
More:
I won’t say the above flowery hands techniques never work.
Just like flowery hands kung fu will let you beat someone who doesn’t know jack about fighting… the flowery hands email tactics above will probably let you do fine in a market with little or no real competition, or if you have a huge marketing budget and don't have to make a profit right away. Or, they will work (and do for some) if you have a rockstar persona where people will buy anything you command them to, regardless of what you say. But in my experience, flowery hands email tactics don’t work nearly as well as selling in a way that is both content and promotion (where, as the great Brian Kurtz said about my emails, “you rarely know which he is doing since he is always doing both.”) Plus, in the real world (not social media fantasy land), where you put a $1 into your advertising and need to make $2 back as soon as possible to scale… flowery hands email tactics simply won’t fly.
Not very long at least.
Especially if, you have a small list.
And, even if it does, it’s like stepping over $100 bills to pick up quarters.
What’s better?
Direct response marketing 101:
Put daily attractive offers, in front of receptive leads, in a way they LIKE reading and buying from. And, even better: Doing it in a way that gets ‘em physically (and *literally*) addicted to hearing from you each day.
Enter the “Email Addiction” seminar I’m doing with my partner in crime Kevin Rogers.
It’s a 2 day event in St. Petersburg, Florida October 24-25.
It’s expensive — $3995.00
And, there are only 6 spots total.
We’re going to cover how to create emails that get people feening to hear from you each day like a crack addict desperate for a fix. We’re also going to show you how to create list loyalty so strong your customers will roll their eyes and balk at the mere thought of buying from your competition instead of you. And, we’re going to put each attendee on the hot seat — giving lots and lots (and LOTS) of attention to your business and offers (we can do this because only 6 people are going to be there — this is not one of those typical “we’ll give you lots of attention even though there are 30+ people in the room” shticks).
But time is of the essence, my little droogling.
Go here to apply:
https://goo.gl/forms/ZFfw9zzsbUsqiPQA2
Ben Settle