In defense of mouth breathers

Published: Mon, 06/13/16

Let’s talk about mouth breathers.

It’s a term thrown around a lot.

And, I certainly use it at every opportunity because it amuses me and “says” 2 or 3 pages worth of description, in only two words. For example, when I hear the term (and this is just one example), I can’t help but think of the pathetic schlub who friends random chicks on Facebook and then immediately starts stalking their profile, liking a bunch of their photos and posts that are 3+ years old, followed by a “hi” message with no context, purpose, or reason other than to drool.

Chicks reading this email knoweth of what I speak of.

Ooh yeah, they know.

Social media is like a petri dish of mouth breathing bacteria.

And, I can’t help but feel a tad sorry for these blokes.

(They know not what they do...)

But you know what?

These mouth breathers are actually kinda useful, too.

In fact, I have used a mouth-breather inspired technique to write some of my best email subject lines.

Example?

I've got several.

And that, my inquisitive little droogie, is one of the many things I teach in the July "Email Players" issue which goes to the printer in just a couple weeks. Inside, I show you examples of mouth breather subject lines that have (1) gotten the attention of A-list copywriters like Clayton Makepeace (who mentioned one at the AWAI Web Copy Intensive event a few months ago being one of his favorites) and another that... (2) gotten me both lots of sales and lots of new readers who, like the Kramer painting in Seinfeld -- were repulsed by them, but couldn't look away, and kept coming back for more... (and yes, kept buying).

A word of warning though:

It takes balls to use these kinds of subject lines.

But, they can get you lots of attention.

Lots of opens (and clicks).

And, yes, lots of sales.

Anyway, I get freaky about this in the July issue.

Subscribe here today to make sure you get it:

http://www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle