Pushing people off pedestals for fun and profit

Published: Thu, 04/04/19

Once upon a time, I was up at 3 am giving a “pep” talk to a friend who was confused about a girl he really likes — but who was being flakey and playing the hot/cold/hot/cold game with him — and he didn’t know where else to go but to your Pal and humble Narrator.

Anyway, what was my advice to him?

Actually, there were several things I told him.

And, it occurred to me afterwards, the advice I gave him works for dealing with clients, customers, and anyone else you put on a pedestal, too.

The most important thing though, was telling him:

“Here’s the problem. And there is no way around this. Do you think she’s talking to one of her friends at 3 am about you and how to ‘get’ you? No? Then why are you wasting even a single second caring?”

This ran like acid through my friend’s veins.

I could practically hear it sizzling through the phone.

Then, I told him what I always tell people who put something — a woman, a client, a customer, a JV partner, anyone else — on a pedestal:

When you put someone on a pedestal they can only look down on you.

It’s not something they do maliciously.

And it’s not something they are even conscious of, either.

And that’s why I told him:

(Paraphrased)

“The only way you have a chance of ever getting this woman who is stringing you along back, is by letting her go. And really letting go — not still being “friends”, not still going over to move her refrigerator or picking her friend up at the airport, or giving her money, or even a second of your time which is far more valuable than anything she's giving you right now... I am talking but moving on completely, without anger, without malice, and without any motive other than your own personal peace of mind.”

There are many lessons embedded in that — business and otherwise.

But, the most important part is this:

Anyone pining over another human being’s affection or attention, a client’s fee and business, a friend’s approval or time... simply lacks a Mission.

Not having that is the main cause of neediness.

And anxiety over what others think or do.

And not having confidence.

And, yes, of not having peace of mind.

The best advice I ever saw someone give on this subject (it was years ago on Twitter), was this:

“Next time you have girl problems, ask yourself: 'Don’t I have something better to do?'”

Good advice for people worried about landing that unicorn client, too.

Or closing that elusive customer who puts you off.

Or getting the attention of someone you want to JV with.

Or, really, when you can’t get whatever it is you want.

Push whatever it is you pine after off that pedestal, and put your Mission on there, instead. You might be shocked by how many “problems” clear themselves up. And, also, how many newer and better opportunities pop up…

What?

You don’t have a Mission?

You don’t even really know what that means?

Then high-tail it over to my first “Villains” book called “Persuasion Secrets Of The World’s Most Charismatic & Influential Villains” and it’ll give you a fast “crash course” on the subject so you can get things in play as quickly as possible and reverse that annoying blob of anxiety festering in your soul over being rejected, ignored, and even outright spurned.

Here’s the jolly ol’ link for you clicking pleasure:

http://www.VillainsBook.com

Ben Settle