Why Scrooge should’ve been sued for marketing malpractice

Published: Sat, 12/22/18

Many years ago, I first heard the term:

“marketing malpractice”

The great Gary Bencivenga said it while being interviewed by the great Ken McCarthy. And, I got to thinking about it recently while watching my favorite version of the movie “A Christmas Carol.”

Specifically, how it applies to Scrooge.

He is built up as some kind of smart & shrewd (if not greedy & miserly) business man.

But, I think he was more of a business dingbat.

And, here are a few reasons why:

* Afraid to spend money — As I have heard the great Dan Kennedy teach over and over and over… the wealthiest of his clients never look for ways to save money or get their postage or marketing costs down… they look for ways to spend MORE, to get a clear and hard-to-knock off competitive advantage. Think companies like Disney, for example. But Scrooge? He’s such a tightwad he’d probably drive a day out of his way to save a few cents per gallon on gas.

* Takes credit for stuff he didn’t do — In the version of the story I was watching… the Ghost of Christmas Present waves his horn at angry people and they stop being angry, and stop wanting to fight. When he does to it to a couple guys about to come to blows, the ghost says “We stopped that fight, didn’t we?” And Scrooge, who did nothing, agrees, “We sure did, didn’t we!” What a bum.

* Makes his employees miserable — Scrooge goes out of his way to be as evil as he can to his employee. Which is just idiotic. As I heard “for real” Mad Man era-advertising genius Walter Bregman once tell Dan Kennedy in an interview (about today’s advertising agencies): “When the penalty for failure outweighs the rewards for success the result is mediocrity.” Anyone who wants mediocre talent working for them is not someone to emulate, but to look at as what not to do.

* Thinks he can buy loyalty and forgiveness — I may very well have missed it, but in the version of the story I watched, Scrooge never once asks for forgiveness from the people (like Bob Cratchit) he tormented, kept in perpetual “fight or flight” mode… and made completely scared, miserable, and worried 24/7. Instead, he just buys the kids presents, throws money around, and thinks he can buy that forgiveness. Bah humbug.

* Is a breathing spreadsheet — Scrooge has zero regard for the intangibles that make a business work, that can’t be tracked, measured, or scaled. Like, for example, his personal brand (which is about as attractive as a rotting fish…), his lack of approachability (even I am approachable by email, but Scrooge is, well, someone people avoid like the Bigfoot apocalypse plague…), and his crap reputation as an employer (i.e. why would the best and brightest want to work for him, knowing he’s an arsehole and pays the bare minimum salary he can get away with).

The point?

Scrooge is an awful businessman to model or emulate.

Here’s another point:

Even though everyone feels sorry for Bob Cratchit, I’m not letting him off the hook, either. He clearly didn’t know jack about making himself a valuable job prospect, and his neediness shone through like a glowing red nose.

It’s what keeps a lot of freelance copywriters broke and desperate, too.

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If ol’ BC had possessed this course, I suspect he would have had so many places wanting to hire him he could have made a lot more income, and had the pleasure of walking into Scrooge’s office with a mistletoe taped to his rear.

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Ben Settle