elBenbo saves needy man from crazy woman

Published: Fri, 03/02/18

A few weeks ago I wrote an email giving persuasion advice (all of which works for selling any other kind of product or service) to one of my customers who was dealing with a flakey, recently-single girl who was giving him mixed signals (i.e. good chance she’s still hung up on her ex) he was dating.

Anyway, one of the pieces of advice I gave him was this:

“Test her by genuinely — not as a trick — encouraging her to get back with her ex.”

Doing this eliminates all neediness which was the thing holding the guy back, turning her off, and making him miserable. It also helps him know if she really is over the guy and should spend any more time on her.

Predictably, a few girls argued against it.

(i.e. “That wouldn’t work on me!” rationalization hamster spinning, completely missing the point.)

But, also predictably, your pal elBenbo was right.

Behold:


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so a quick update following what you said:

She got back to me, we met up and hung out, got lunch, etc. and yea she’s talking to the ex and other guys, she’s “confused” etc said she didnt know how to break the news to me and other BS so she went radio silent.

So I was just like “yeah thats great you should totally pursue that, give him a chance, see what happens” etc I was anti-needy the whole time, super relaxed, having fun, making fun of her etc.

She’s already texting me saying she “cant wait” to get together again, we should grab drinks soon” so we’re getting together in a few days.

She totally revealed her cards. I almost want to call this the “intentional friend zone” haha.

By me doing this she revealed all this stuff about her like how she was fucking her business partner, how she had 3 some with just women, how her ex wasnt interested in sex, and so on. All these stories about her.

Of course I am just sitting there saying hardly anything, laid back and she’s suddenly super opening up to me.

Will we have hook up again? Who knows and after hearing all her stories, I’m not nearly as attracted to her as before. Isnt that interesting how that works? She’s got a good social circle so I dont mind being friends

Thanks man for everything

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Like I said way back in the January 2017 Email Players newsletter:

The best way to get a "yes" from someone (dating, sales, whatever) is to righteously (not as a "trick") try to get a "no."

It puts all someone's cards on the table.

And, will save you a lot of time and grief.

In his case, it automatically took her off the pedestal and removed his neediness.

He is now in complete control of his emotions about her.

And, he essentially flipped the script.

Anyway, one of the reasons I wrote my Villains book was for needy guys to not be that way anymore. It goes way beyond dating, and is all about men improving themselves in such a way where it makes you more persuasive, charismatic, and overall influential in all areas of your life.

(Business, personal, marketing, family, all of it.)

To read more about it, go here:

http://www.VillainsBook.com

Ben Settle